10 secrets.
- i tell him that i love him. but i don’t really know. not because i don’t want to or anything it’s just like that i’ve never said that to someone and meant it, so how do i know if i mean it now? honestly, it scares me the way i feel about him. because i’m pretty sure i feel more for him than he does for me; at least that’s how it seems to me. and it’s never been that way before. ever. and that kinda freaks me out. kinda.
- my parents think i’m a slut. there’s not much i can do about that besides hope they change their mind one day or ignore it until i peace it to college in august. but they’re my parents. i wanna make them happy. i know i’m not the most perfect child, but i’m not like the worst either. i try. sometimes. i could try harder. but i mean…what’s the point?
- i get mad at people like really really fast. i hide it really well but someone could say one thing and then all of a sudden i’m on the verge of killing them. not the best thing but i can’t really change that either. i can’t help if i’m surrounded by idiots.
- everything involving college scares me. what if i don’t get into a good one? or any? what if it’s too much money? what if i just completely fuck everything up! ugh. its too much to deal with. i envy people who have their entire lives figured out.
- i hate cats. sorry. not exactly a secret. just throwing that out there.
- i don’t wanna leave cus i’m worried about my mom being alone. i know she and my dad are gonna separate after i leave and like…what’s gonna happen? they’ve always been together. i used to be so worried that she would just be so miserable without me because she always says how im the only reason she even comes home. when someone says shit like that, how the fuck do you think i feel?
- i miss my brother. in two senses; i miss him living here because mom and dad are crazy. and also…i miss that he doesn’t even act like my brother anymore. he doesn’t text me unless he needs something from me or to yell at me for something. he sides with mom and dad on everything. like, seriously, there’s always those periods of time where we’re so close and then there’s like now…where we barely talk and i see him once a month if i’m lucky.
- if i could, i wouldn’t go to college. i’d say fuck it and pack up and withdraw all the money i have and just travel.
- i procrastinate a lot. sometimes i just don’t do things altogether.
- i hate a majority of the people i’m forced to see on a daily basis. it goes along with the whole surrounded by idiots things.
